Letter To Chris

Hey Chris,

I hope you read this letter because its especially important to me that you read it even though it is rather long. As you know my friend Katie Donovan has cystic fibrosis, the inherited chronic disease you know so well. She has lived down the road from me practically my entire life. When I first met her I had no idea she had cystic fibrosis but I was able to see there was something extraordinary about her personality that God had placed in her. We became great friends and I was able to introduce her to the most amazing band ever, Angels & Airwaves. I drove her to her first concert ever which was AVA at Madison Theatre here in Kentucky back in 2006. It was an amazing experience for the both of us because the emotional connection we felt with the band made all our worries disappear. Eventually Katie told me about her condition and I was way too young to grasp the extent of her situation. As I got older I felt compelled to study and learn as much as I could about cystic fibrosis, because she was my friend and I wanted her to be able to talk to me openly about it. Over the years Katie would be in and out of the hospital at the University of Kentucky’s Children’s Hospital. As her friend I would always go and stay with her whenever she was sick in the hospital. I remember our first “dinner date”, she had been in the Children’s Hospital for weeks and they finally cleared her to be allowed to go out for a few hours. So I picked her up and took her to eat at this extremely fun and romantic Italian restaurant. I remember laughing so hard because she barely ate anything, because she was afraid I would think she was fat even though she barely weighed anything at all. At the time we were both still so young so I never really thought too much about it other then I knew she was my friend and I wanted to be there for her. She had a huge crush on me forever, and I could tell she was infatuated with me at the time, even though I have no idea why.
As I got older I decided I wanted to do something medical related so I ended up pursuing a career in radiology. However, within the last year Katie has gotten sicker, and was in the hospital a lot more frequent even for her. I would go to the hospital to spend time with her everyday after I was finished working at the hospital or going to class. I started studying cystic fibrosis a lot more because I wanted to learn as much as I could about it. After a while I started to gain a lot of interest in pulmonology and now I even think I may change my major and focus on pulmonology. A few months ago when Katie was extremely sick her doctors decided they were going to put a portacath in her because she wasn’t getting better. I remember sitting in her hospital room all alone waiting hours while she was in the prep/surgery/recovery. Her parents were on their way to the hospital but before they got there I had to sit there alone and it gave me a lot of time to think. It made me feel so helpless, I couldn’t understand why God would do something like this. When her parents finally did arrive I had no idea what I could say to them to make them feel better. I remember sitting there quietly as we all tried to make conversation but it was tremendously uncomfortable. I can still remember the look in their eyes, I could tell they were crushed and wished they could do something to help their daughter. I even prayed for God to help them, which wasn’t something I ever did. I remember wishing I was smart enough to cure Katie, I wanted that more than anything in this world. Ever since that day I have wanted to some how contribute a part of my life to cystic fibrosis. I hate that the government doesn’t provide more funding towards the research of cystic fibrosis even though it affects approximately 30,000 children and adults in the United States alone. I have been trying to think of ways I could help, I even spent hours researching events and fund raisers the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation supported. However, I felt compelled to do something much bigger, I wanted to do more than just donate some money. I was even trying to plan a huge fund raiser here in Kentucky that would involve the University of Kentucky Medical Center and St. Joseph’s Hospital. Then I realized I wanted to do something that would reach people all over the world. I couldn’t think of anything, but then it hit me. Modlife Causes. I think Modlife would the perfect platform for this cause. The possibilities could be endless. Modlife is the platform which could allow children and adults alike who are affected by cystic fibrosis to be able to communicate with each other. A place where the families who are affected by cystic fibrosis can come together to share their inspirational stories as well as many other intimate things such as living with cystic fibrosis. I have read countless blogs by young children who write about living with cystic fibrosis. With Modlife these children, as well as their families, could all blog and have easy access to share their blogs with people all over the world who are in the same situation. They could all post videos, blogs, pictures, have discussions using Modblast, and much more within a safe community of people who are all experiencing the same thing. I could take a camera and do live broadcasts using Modcam at events such as GREAT STRIDES, CureFinders, Golf Tournaments, as well as many other events that raise money for cystic fibrosis research. A cystic fibrosis Modlife could do all this and much more, not only as a community to allow families affected by cystic fibrosis to communicate but also to raise a lot of money towards research. Modlife.com/CysticFibrosis could also raise money for contests, much like the Make-A-Wish Foundation did for Katie when it gave her the chance to meet AVA and hang out with them on the tour bus. Maybe after it grows we could also present proposals to connect the Modlife with organizations such as the Make-A-Wish Foundation and the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Maybe even concerts by Modlife bands to raise money for research. The possibilities are endless, these are just a few of the ideas I had, and I really believe this could be a great way to help the countless people who are affected by CF. I really want to make a difference and be part of this. Please take this idea in serious consideration because I think if it’s handled right it could make huge strides in helping those affected by cystic fibrosis. I really want to be part of it also, I want to donate all the time I can towards this goal. Please contact me Chris because I know you can make this happen. Even though I am only 23 I want to donate as much time as I possibly can towards this. I plan on going to some of these events such as the GREAT STRIDES which would be a perfect event to broadcast over a cystic fibrosis Modlife. Please write back and let me know what you think. Peace and love, Casey.

What’s My Age Again?

Happy birthday to me! It’s off to a good start. Uk won in overtime.

A.C. Flora

Got a haircut today. Looking good. Feeling very confident.

I love my friends!

My birthday is Thursday! Are we spending it together? Chances are no. I probably won’t see any of you. I will hopefully get to see my real friends and get to spend it together with them. I’m sure I will get a few of your typical cliché “Hey! Happy birthday! I hope its rad/amazing/fun/great/wonderful/.” I am thankful for those. I am more thankful for the ones who will take time to be nice to me and to say hi in person. I am glad this week is short for me, however it’s not as short as it is for most of you. Lucky bastards. Today was a good day though, I am finally over the thoughts that have been troubling me lately. They blinded my good judgment, but now I am able to see past them to the real situation. I sometimes feel like I am taken for granted and other times I feel like I am praised for more than I could ever possibly be. I sometimes try too hard to build something that’s impossible. It can be frustrating at times building friendships and relationships. However you can’t build a house on a ground that’s not stable. It’s a quarter ‘til 2 am and I have to get up at 5 am for a long drive to Lexington for clinicals, so that should be fun.

Activating Launch Sequence

Dear Journal.. Hi it’s me Doug! Umm wait no.. How do I start off my first blog EVER? Should it be something extraordinarily hilarious? Am I required to share some words of wisdom from the 23, no wait 22, long years I have been on this earth? Should I give the reader a glimpse into my mind and type my sacred thoughts and emotions? I can’t help but feel that the reader should at least buy me dinner and a drink before I start pouring out my private thoughts.. I wonder if everyone encounters this much trouble writing something as insignificant as this blog? Maybe insignificant is a bit too harsh? I mean this is my first ever.. I suppose I should backspace that question and use my thesaurus to come up with a better word to use? But where would the art and creativity be in that? Question mark, question mark question mark.. Enough already!

Honestly I hope that my audience, or lack thereof, won’t find this blog completely worthless. I’m not sure what I will do with it.. Maybe decorate it a little? Buy some blankets, some candles, a loveseat? I will probably just use it to log my daily thoughts and events that I deem necessary to share. Maybe we will share a few laughs. I do not know. Am I worried about my grammar? I think the 11 question marks already hurled throughout this blog makes it clear that I am not the least bit concerned. Maybe it’s time to start the actual blog?

Monday.. God how I hate Mondays. However this one wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I got up at 5:30 am in order to have enough time to complete my daily, yet monotonous, routine of shaving, showering, and brushing my teeth in order to make it to Lexington on time for my clinicals. It was even more grueling than usual because I stayed up half the night talking to my friend Katie. Oh how we reminisced the days of our youth and how we wish we had done things different, maybe that’s even more true than we let on? Maybe it was the lack of sleep or something I ate but my stomach was killing me, so my clinical advisor suggested I go home incase I really was sick. The hospital has a strict policy against allowing sick employees to get around other employees and an even stricter policy of letting employees who are under the weather get anywhere near already sick patients. So I ended up spending my day at Barnes and Noble. How I ended up there? I do not know. Before I knew it I had spent 4 hours there, drinking coffee and reading a few medical books on various diseases. Most of my time was spent on reading and learning about various pulmonary disorders such as cystic fibrosis. How to diagnosis the illness and the various treatments of each. It’s safe to say that I enjoy learning about anything related to medicine. I often wonder what the world would be like without disease? If we could cure anything. If I could cure anyone.

I ended up going to the movie theatre with my cousin Tyler. We watched “The Men Who Stare at Goats” which was surprisingly funny. It’s not the way I had intended to spend my day but it sure was good. I did find out that one of my best friends is leaving forever, sucks. I will miss her forever, even though as much as I try I never get to hang out with her. However she is wanting me to hurry up and finish this blog so I guess that will have to wait until next time.. Until then here is something to contemplate, just something I was thinking about this week..

There will come a day that you will look into my eyes and ask “Which is more precious to you? My life or yours?” I will say “My life is the most important thing.” then you will walk out of my life. What you don’t know is that you are my life and everything that’s in it.